It happened to me again. I bought the wrong pickles.
Vlasic pickles are tricky. Even though they sell several varieties of pickles, the labels are all virtually the same.
The labels are mostly similar (read: non contrasting) shades of blue and green. I’ve been known to reach for what I thought were Kosher dills only to get home and discover that I had bought Polish dills (mmm, spicy!) or somewhat more annoying, Kosher dill stackers (right taste but inconvenient for eating).
If you visit the Vlasic site, you’ll find such handy information as recipes for “cream cheese and pickle on a bagel” but you’ll be disappointed to find out that they no longer offer their two pieces of merch: a plush stork doll or boxer shorts.
But if you were wondering how Vlasic got that stork mascot, here’s the scoop: When they developed the mascot, there was a drop in the national birthrate, so the Vlasic managers wanted to give the stork something else to do: deliver pickles instead of babies.
Vlasic was founded in 1912. Probably time for a makeover. Pretty please?