Mighty Red Pen

February 6, 2007

Unequivocally yours

Filed under: Wordsworthy — mighty red pen @ 11:27 am

The reports about NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak who went nuts and drove from Houston to Orlando to confront her supposed rival for the affections of another astronaut are just rife with hilarious studies in equivocation. Who knew astronauts were such masters?

It starts with Nowak’s assertion that her relationship with the object of her affection is “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship.” I guess that “stalker relationship” fits somewhere in between there?

Then, when one of her colleagues was asked about his response to the whole story, he said, “perplexed is the word I’m sticking with.” If by “perplexed” you mean “totally freaking out about what the heck is going on with these people?” Yeah, I think I’d be perplexed, too. That’s my word and I’m sticking to it.

And finally, MRP’s favorite was the comment from the Orlando police in response to Nowak’s assertion that she had just driven like a bat out of hell all that way just to talk to the other woman.

“If you were just going to talk to someone, I don’t know that you would need a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray,” said Orlando police Sgt. Barbara Jones.

I don’t know, I find it usually gets good results when I want someone to really, really listen to what I have to say.



  1. Why is this even national news in the first place? I’m sure in just a matter of months it will be a Lifetime movie, or a Law & Order ripped-from-the-headlines episode.

    Comment by The Mole — February 7, 2007 @ 6:03 pm | Reply

  2. I know! But you gotta admit, it’s a better story than say the Runaway Bride or Kevin Federline.

    Comment by mightyredpen — February 7, 2007 @ 7:17 pm | Reply

  3. Runaway Bride’s eyes freak me out.

    Comment by The Mole — February 8, 2007 @ 6:44 pm | Reply

  4. Don’t forget that she wore diapers for the 1,000 mile drive, so that she didn’t have to stop. A very important point in the insanity that I hope is not lost in the Lifetime movie translation.

    Comment by Frida's Big Gay Dad — February 9, 2007 @ 12:51 pm | Reply

  5. Are you kidding? That’s totally an opportunity for a product placement.

    “I need my Space: the Lisa Nowak story is brought to you on the Lifetime Network by Depends Undergarments. When you can’t stop to go, go with Depends.”

    It’s genius!

    Comment by David — February 15, 2007 @ 11:39 am | Reply

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