Moondog and I occasionally play a game called “Name I’m Glad I Don’t Have,” which consists of e-mailing each other names we’ve come across that, yes, we’re glad we don’t have. Recent entries have included the last names Doody and McWeeny (I didn’t say it was an intelligent game).
After a conversation about Speck Wildhorse Mellencamp, son of John (formerly Cougar) Mellencamp, Moondog passed along this gem of an article by John Tierney called “A Boy Named Sue, and a Theory of Names.”
I had a friend who was a teacher who knew of siblings named Lemonjello and Orangejello, and another who as a medical resident in New York knew of a woman who named her baby Female (pronounced feh-mah-lee). (From what I read in the comments on Tierney’s worst bad name contest — which I recommend you check out — apparently this is not an isolated phenomenon.)
We all know celebrities give their kids wacky names, so let’s not get into the whole Gwyneth Paltrow named her baby Apple thing, but feel free to bring on any of the worst bad names you might have heard, could be yours or someone else’s. And then read Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing for further bad name amusement.