Here’s something amusing to cap off our celebration of National Grammar Day. It comes to us courtesy of John McIntyre over at You Don’t Say, a little something-something he likes to call Grammarnoir. Better still, it features National Grammar Day founder Martha Brockenbrough in a starring role. Here’s a little excerpt:
“He got so angry once over my . . . my friend’s placement of only in a sentence that she was afraid she would have to call the police.”
“Baby, I’ve met a million of ’em. This place used to crawl with ’em before the bottom fell out of the paragraph game. But why are you coming to me about this bozo?”
“Well, I heard, Mr. McIntyre, that you’re a highly professional copy editor.”
“I’ve nailed the errant adverb in my time.”
“I thought you could talk to him, work with him, help him somehow.”
“Toots, I’ve got it soft here. Twenty an hour, and I don’t have to furnish my own pencil. I don’t need the aggravation.”
“But Mr. McIntyre, National Grammar Day is almost here. It’s March 4, and I’m so afraid for him, and for my friend, that if he isn’t turned around by then, something terrible might happen.” She sobbed softly into a dainty little lace thing she’d plucked from her purse.