I’m doing it. I’m opening up my Shakespearean Insult Gum.
Let’s see, so many choices. I’m going to go with MacBeth, that’s gotta have some good insults in it. Here we are, two gumballs. Pop one in my mouth. Chew, chew. Let’s see how we’re doing for an insult:
“Hang yourself, you muddy corger.”
This is actually an insult from Henry IV, Part 2, not sure what that’s about.
Let’s try another. How ’bout King Lear?
The gum turns out to have little flavor or lasting power, so that’s a minus. Here we are, King Lear:
“How foul and loathsome is thine image.”
An insult from The Taming of the Shrew. So it seems that there is little correlation between what the cover of the “book” says and which play the insult is drawn from.
If my little play-by-play doesn’t give you enough of a sense of the experience of Shakespearean Insult Gum, this little video will.
Overall, I would say that the excitement and amusement over discovering Shakespearean Insult Gum greatly outweigh my actual experience of the gum. In retrospect, probably much funnier not to unwrap the package and just show it to your word nerd friends, who will be green with envy over the perfect word nerdiness of Shakespearean Insult Gum.
And by the way: “Thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.” Just sayin’.